Apocalypse Now: The TOC South West Tour 17th Sep 2023

It was hurricane Barbara or Nigel or whatever, Wet Wet Wet, enough to wash the Rain-X from the glass. (Have you ever tried buying Rain-X in a Pound shop?) And the same day Minehead was washed into the Bristol Channel; but on a happier note, at least the five wells in Wells were now full. (it was so wet there were migrants demanding to be sent to Rwanda)

It didn’t start well either, Trevor and I felt sorry for Gordon Matthews, after his debacle with a Cobra at Le Mans, as featured in the previous rag. He was keen to lead the group, and we stupidly agreed. He was very proud of his new fancy-dancy navigation app, that he had got free with a packet of Coco Pops. So off we set, a brace of fourteens and me, (we kept being overtaken by cyclists). I never knew that Reading had so many rivers, until we realised that we were going over the same one over and over and over again. (Perhaps he should have used the app from Rice Crispies).

It was déjà vu again; we had been in the Swan in Wells with the TOC on a wonderful trip with David Booth in a previous life. Brilliant location, Paul Britton had done a fabulous job with the organisation, but sadly I couldn’t find my instructions till the second day, so missed the first day completely. So off we set then. Brilliant route, pretty villages and, of course, Cheddar Gorge - bit of a shame we couldn’t see any of it through the rain. We all arrived at the lunch stop. No staff to be seen so I set off in search of a barmaid (not for the first time ever!)  I eventually found her in her dressing gown in the kitchen???

Everything was wet except for the inside of Gordon’s radiator; and he was always seen sporting a 20 litre container of water wherever he went.

In the evening I had a chat with an inspirational chap, Bill Griffiths. I thought he had come from the Isle of Man, so I proceeded to talk about the TT races but he kept looking rather blank. I later found out that he had come all the way from the Isle of Tasmania, which, it appears it is an island somewhere off the coast of Australia, so maybe David Booth could row over and give him a hug. Anyway, on his card it says that he is a successful barrister (they obviously drink a lot of coffee there).

You will be glad to know that Gordon for once got home in the actual car he set off in. Even though only on five cylinders (and if you think a 14 is slow on six !!!!)

All the Talbots made it again without a breakdown; the only exception being an Alvis stuck on the roadside for several hours. Clever Trevor eventually got him going, by gently suggesting it might be a good idea to turn the fuel on.